Don't Think of Me
by Tracy Space Cowgirl
Summary: Liz and Tess aren't as different as they thought..


Don't Think of Me   
By Tracy (biancaheart@yahoo.com) 

Rating: PG-13 

Category: M/L, M/T 

Spoilers: Through Departure 

Summary: Unique story, focusing on comparing Tess/Liz's thoughts about their relationships with Max. Spans   
the time from Tess' entrance in Season 1 to her departure in Departure. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell, or anything related to it, besides officially licensed merchandise. The song   
_"Don't Think of Me"_ is sung by Dido and is on her album, No Angel. I'm not making any money or using the lyrics for anything but a framework for the story.   
  
  


**_Author's Note:_**   
**_Legend to the Story- The POV's are as follows-_**   
**__** **__**

**_1. Tess- in the era of "Four Square"_**   
**_2. Liz- after "Destiny"_**   
**_3. Tess- after "Harvest"_**   
**_4. Liz- after " Cry Your Name/It's Too Late & It's Too Bad"_**   
**_5. Tess- after "Departure"_**   
**__**   
  


_So you're with her, and not with me_   
_I hope she's sweet, and so pretty,_   
_I hear she cooks delightfully_   
_A little angel beside you_   


You have a girlfriend. 

I've been waiting all these years to find you. I've been searching for you. 

You're my destiny. You were created for me. 

Not for her. 

She's just a human. You aren't. I see you at lunch, and in the hallways, always with her. 

What spell does Liz Parker hold over you? 

Nasedo's always told me that I should be stronger than humans. That I shouldn't give in to human emotions. 

If I'm so strong, Max, why do I get jealous? Why do I get so hurt and angry and upset when I see her in your arms? Why do I feel like I've been betrayed when I see the two of you kissing? 

I've spent my whole life as Tess Harding trying to be the perfect mate for you. To be Ava, wife of Zan. 

You were a king, and now you're a boy. 

And you're with her, and not with me. That hurts. 

But what hurts even more is that you don't even think of me.   


_So you're with her, and not with me_   
_Oh how lucky one man can be_   
_I hear your house is smart and clean_   
_Oh how lovely with your Homecoming Queen_   
_Oh how lovely it must be_   
_When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me_   
_When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me_   
  


I'm leaving you, Max. 

Now you can go face your destiny. 

You can be with Tess. 

I'm leaving Roswell. At least for the summer. Longer, if my parents will let me stay in Florida with my relatives. 

But at least you'll have a summer. A summer to escape any obligation or whatever, that brought us together. 

You saved my life, Max, and I'm eternally grateful. 

But you don't have to love me. 

You're meant to love her. Destined. What is Destiny anyway, a seven letter word for pain? 

Maybe if I don't come back, you can go back to your planet. If I'm not there, then maybe everyone will go on with their lives. I can't escape the reminder that it was me that started all of this. I was the one who got shot. I got Maria and Alex in this mess. I got you, Michael, and Isabel in trouble with the FBI and the special   
unit. I got Kyle shot. 

So maybe being with Tess would be better for you. Maybe she can keep you safe. 

Maybe she could get you safely home. 

So this summer, it would probably be the best if you didn't think of me, Max.   
  


_So you're with her and not with me_   
_I know she spreads sweet honey_   
_In fact your best friend, I heard he spent last night with her_   
_Now how do you feel_   
_When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me_   
_When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me_   
_And it's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me_   
_Oh, it's too late and it's too bad_   
_Don't think of me_   


I just don't understand you. 

You're still heads over heels in love with her. 

She left you for the summer. You act like a stalker-puppy dog kind of person when she gets back. You follow her everywhere. You're obsessed, possessed. 

What magic does she hold over you? 

Max, she slept with Kyle. You told me about it. You saw them in bed together. 

I even asked her about it. She said Kyle was good- something that I wouldn't doubt, looking at his muscles and other parts of his…physique. 

I'm meant to be with you. Why can't you get that through your head? 

I'm not a brunette. I don't have brown eyes. I'm a blond with blue eyes. All aspects of my body were designed to make me to desirable to you. 

She's with Kyle now. Before you know it, it'll be all over school. 

And you know what? I don't blame her. At least Kyle thinks of me. We fight, we flirt, but he has time for me. 

And you, Max, don't even spare a minute to think of me.   


_Does it bother you now all the mess I made_   
_Does it bother you now the clothes you told me not to wear_   
_Does it bother you now all the angry games we played_   
_Does it bother you now when I'm not there_   


What did I ever see in you? 

How did I ever get myself into this mess? 

Alex is dead, Max. Alex is dead. My best friend is laying in a cold coffin underground. 

I'll never see him again. 

His death wasn't right. People aren't supposed to die that young. And our friends aren't supposed to die. I don't know why I'd think we were special. I guess life doesn't give you exemptions, no matter how much crap you put up with on a day to day basis. 

I'm tired Max. 

I'm tired of you not listening to me. I wasn't blaming you, I wasn't even blaming Tess, who as you know, will never be one of my favorite people. You aren't the only aliens in the galaxy. We know you have enemies. It could be one of them, Max. 

But you aren't thinking. 

I miss you. I miss the friends we used to be, like after the shooting, and even after Michael's sickness. We were friends. You used to call me on the phone, just to talk about anything, or nothing. 

I never see you anymore. You're too busy talking with Tess, trying to remember your past. 

But Max, you're missing the present while you're doing it. 

Everything is falling apart. 

I need my friend Max. 

But he doesn't have the time to think of me.   
  
  
__

_When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me_   
_When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me_   
_And it's too late, and it's too bad,_   
_Don't think of me_   
_Oh it's too late, oh it's too bad, Don't think of me_   


You kissed her. 

Even as you were vowing to stay with me, to be a family with my child, you kissed her. 

And now I'm gone. I've gone off to face my destiny apart from you. 

I'm stronger than that, Max. 

I don't need you anymore. 

At first, you may miss me. That is, after you get over hating me. After you get after your anger. For a moment, maybe you'll remember the observatory, and think of me and smile, before your heart hardens towards me again. 

And you'll get back together with Liz. You'll kiss her and hold her and marry her. 

You'll face your destiny, and never think back on me. 

I think that's the way it's supposed to be. 

Once upon a time, I was Ava. I was your queen. I was your wife. I loved you, and you loved me in return. We were each other's strength and support. We sacrificed our lives for the greater good. 

Now, I am Tess. I am an alien/human hybrid searching desperately for a place in this galaxy. Maybe I'll find it on Antar, or it may turn out that I was meant to be on Earth all along. I will find my own strength, my own support. 

Liz will be your queen. She will be your wife. She loves you, and she'll probably continue to love you for as long as she lives. She will be your strength and support. 

I sacrifice what might have been for the greater good. I sacrifice the love I have for you. I sacrifice the dreams I had for the future. 

Goodbye, Max. 

It would probably be best, though, if you don't think of me.   
  



End file.
